


You're Not Perfect

by Adlersong



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: Confessions, Drunkenness, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, in which the author puts all their Wild Idiot Energy into a character again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:46:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adlersong/pseuds/Adlersong
Summary: “Don’ laugh at me. You’re not perfect. In fact, ‘m r’lly mad at you.”If you can get into a conversation you can distract yourself from other things. Like the blush spreading across Riz’s cheeks (he must really be drunk) or how he’s close enough that it would be easy to lean in and smooth his hair away from his face, or touch his face to see if it was really as warm as it looked, or—Distraction. Friendship. Normal behaviour.“Is that so?” he managed, pointedly not thinking or noticing a damn thing when Riz’s affirmative made his lips press together. “May I ask why?”In which two idiots almost- but not quite- talk themselves out of emotional honesty.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 10
Kudos: 159





	You're Not Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Together and Wanting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21222239) by [isthepartyover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthepartyover/pseuds/isthepartyover). 
  * Inspired by [Alone and Longing in the Crowd](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142112) by [violetsarefuckingpurple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetsarefuckingpurple/pseuds/violetsarefuckingpurple). 



> I was reading Fabriz fics on a coach stuck in traffic, as ya do, and the concept of What Is Fabian's Deal Though completely took over me. Big thanks to  violetsarefuckingpurple  and [ isthepartyover ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthepartyover/pseuds/isthepartyover) for the inspiration!

_“You’re not perfect.”_

Should that hurt the way it does? Fabian wondered, frowning slightly on whiskey-tinged impulse. His friends shouldn’t think he’s perfect. If his father taught him anything in those final months, it was that understanding a person’s flaws was one of the key differences between friends and crew. Yet, somehow, it stung.

Maybe he just wanted Riz to think he was perfect.

“You look perfect though, all… shiny and euph… something. Euph-happy.”

Oh. Well. Fabian smiled, deep thoughts pushed aside, at Riz’s drunken babbling.

“You’re so drunk.” It’s not that deep, Fabian told himself. He’s tipsy and he’s rambling, no reason to get existential about it.

“And you’re so perfect!” Keep it together, Seacaster. He probably won’t even remember this in the morning. Don’t let yourself read into things and you won’t have to bury them later, when you’re kissing Aelwyn and wishing for things you have no right to want.

“I thought you said I wasn’t perfect.” Good. Friendly, normal bickering. That was safe.

“Don’ laugh at me. You’re not perfect. In fact, ‘m r’lly mad at you.”

If you can get into a conversation you can distract yourself from other things. Like the blush spreading across Riz’s cheeks (he must really be drunk) or how he’s close enough that it would be easy to lean in and smooth his hair away from his face, or touch his face to see if it was really as warm as it looked, or—

Distraction. Friendship. Normal behaviour.

“Is that so?” he managed, pointedly not thinking or noticing a damn thing when Riz’s affirmative made his lips press together. “May I ask why?”

“Cause you ‘eserve the world, and you kin’a have it, but you don’ even know and all you wan’s Aelwyn, an’ she— an’ she sucks.”

Fabian thought he might throw up. There it was. The explanation he was looking for but didn’t want — not if it was going to be this. The reason Riz spent spent so much time around him and Aelwyn, why he asked Adaine to break them up every time. Why Fabian had felt Riz’s eyes on him throughout the night. He was so stupid, of course it was — Aelwyn was beautiful, Fabian knew that, and why would Riz —

“You’re mad at me because of Aelwen? Are you… jealous, The Ball? You like her?” If he could hear Riz say it plainly, Fabian thought, maybe he could move on. Somehow. It was going to hurt like hell to hear, and Fabian fully planned on drowning his sorrows once this conversation was over, but that would be it. Case closed, as they say. As Riz says. Fuck.

Fabian set his jaw against the words that might finally kill him and waited.

“No.” Unexpected. Had he missed something? “I-" did he really just not trust her still, or — “I’m jealous... of her.”

What.

What?

What the hell?

From the look on Riz’s face, he hadn’t meant to say that either. Caught out of his self-deprecating spiral, Fabian wasn’t sure how to react. He thought through Riz’s words carefully, their entire conversation replaying in his head. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, might actually cry if they came crashing down again, but the interpretations of what Riz had just said condensed down into one beautiful possibility.

“You’re perfect.” Riz finally muttered. Fabian’s heart stopped.

Riz was looking away and his blush extended down his neck and he looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but there and all Fabian could think was please. Please please please.

“Oh,” was all he managed to say, aware that he had been staring for several minutes at the beautiful goblin beside him. The beautiful goblin who was steadily avoiding eye contact and okay, Fabian had been still and silent for too long, he needed to do something before Riz got the wrong idea.

“Look at me?” Riz tilted his head up, eyes shining like the moon, and Fabian’s heart couldn’t take it — couldn’t take how wonderful he was, couldn’t take the look in his eyes like maybe Riz had messed up when nothing could be further from the truth. Fabian was done wondering and done pretending and done with doubt, so he did what he had wanted to for months.

He was kissing Riz Gukgak.

Riz was kissing him back.

The constant voice in Fabian’s head went silent. So did the noise of the party — music, talking, none of it mattered, there was only one significant part of the universe and it was the one where Riz was kissing him desperately like he wanted to replace every other kiss in Fabian’s life and fuck, Fabian wanted that too. The lingering taste of Aelwyn’s lip gloss disappeared within moments and it was Riz, everything was Riz, hands curled in his hair and leg slung over his to firmly press his mouth against Fabian’s. Sharp teeth dragged against Fabian’s lip and oh, it was too much for him to handle, he gasped for air as if Riz was the ocean and all he wanted to do was drown. He stuttered out words to that effect, barely comprehensible behind the rush of lust and love and RizRizRiz that had replaced his mind. He needed to hear it again, needed confirmation. “I don’t... but you like me?”

“Yeah.” Riz rasped, voice rough and perfect, and the look in his eyes went beyond arousal and into something that made Fabian want to never let him go. Luckily, that had already been the plan.

Fabian knew that if they kept making out and stayed downstairs, his guests would see a lot more than they had signed up for. He stood, lifting Riz off the couch and laughing with him as Riz wrapped himself around Fabian. They stumbled across the living room, making it to the stairs without too many incidents (Fabian could hear their friends’ reactions behind him, Adaine’s gasp and Gorgug’s cut-off question, but he couldn’t bring himself to care at all). They had barely paused for air even as he walked up the stairs, briefly leaning on the bannister so that Fabian could push one hand up the back of Riz’s shirt and then they were by his door.

Riz’s mouth was busy marking his throat, pressing bruises in with lips and teeth that Fabian knew would be there for days after. His. He belonged to Riz and Riz belonged to him and it was everything, everything he wanted. “You’re _definitely_ going to be the death of me.” He gasped out, pressing even harder against the door. Riz shook his head and brought their mouths back together, his smile pressed against Fabian’s own grin as they fumbled with each other’s clothing. Fabian’s hand brushed against the doorknob and he opened the door, distant thought reminding him about beds and horizontal surfaces in all their glorious potential. Riz had unbuttoned most of his shirt and was pressing kisses down his collarbone, hands skating down his chest in a way that was going to drive Fabian insane if they didn’t get to the bed soon.

Fabian dropped Riz on the bed and followed after, taking in every detail — his wild hair, the deep blue blush that disappeared under his shirt (Fabian needed to get that shirt off of him as fast as possible, needed to see how far down it went, needed to map its progress with his mouth and hands), the glazed look in his eyes. Fabian saw the instant Riz fully took in the sight of Fabian above him: desperate, his clothes a mess, panting. He saw the desire flare behind Riz’s glasses as his eyes went wide and he reached up — and Fabian was falling on top of him, arms bracketing Riz’s head as he dove in for another kiss. Riz gasped into it, mouth opening even further to give Fabian a chance to delve deeper, one hand reaching up to grab his hair while another snaked its way under his shirt to grab desperately at his back. Riz’s nails left trails of fire in their wake, sharp stings that had Fabian drawing shuddering breaths and grinding down with an involuntary jolt of his hips.

“How are you so-“ Riz fisted his hand in Fabian’s hair, drawing his head sideways as Riz sucked another bruise into his skin. His thoughts dissolved again into sensations, into rucking up Riz’s shirt until Riz shimmied out of it and Fabian was left with an expanse of emerald skin to mark and devour. Riz gasped and moaned, each sound sending shockwaves through Fabian’s body, bringing him closer to coming with every writhing motion and sharp bite. When Fabian felt Riz’s hand against his trousers he jolted, nearly coming right there and then — and when his fingers finally grasped him it was too much, Riz moaning against his mouth and the sharp line of his own erection pressing into Fabian’s hip and his hand-

Fabian nearly blacked out when he came, maybe would have if it weren’t for Riz’s loud groan at the friction between them. He hurried to return the favour — unzipping Riz’s jeans with one hand, bringing him to completion with only a few strokes. They breathed together, neither one able to talk, and Fabian tucked Riz’s body close to his as the urge to sleep overpowered him. The last thing he saw was Riz, disheveled and satisfied, burying his head in Fabian’s shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is my first time posting smut. With that in mind, comments are appreciated but please be kind. I may write Fabian's POV of the last scene of Together and Wanting, but honestly I feel like he's pretty much got his cards on the table at that point.  
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
